Weddings: A Celebration of Friendship

Just like anyone with a Pinterest account and a tendency toward procrastination and daydreaming, I like to think about my theoretical wedding. I can't pinpoint exactly what prompts me to conjure up thoughts of the 'big day', but the event will pop into my head at times and it's hard to resist such a dreamy mental story.

I do know what doesn't prompt me to think of matrimonial ceremony, and it's anything to do with actual marriage. Whether or not I get married is not something I care about right now. If a fairy from the future visited me in a prophetic dream tonight and told me I'll never get married, I wouldn't be especially disappointed, or surprised. The idea of marriage is certainly inviting; sharing a home, a lifestyle, and a lot of time with someone I love romantically, that's a lovely thing! But as of now, I can easily imagine myself being a single woman for the whole live-long run of it. And I find that lovely and inviting too. 

But I keep going back to my mental wedding, which at this point is pretty well planned out, if I say so myself. I go back because a wedding (at least according to my knowledge limited to traditional, American weddings) is a big ol' celebration. I know what restaurant I want to cater my wedding, I know where I want the ceremony to be, and I even have some ideas for the reception. But what delights me most about weddings is what they really celebrate, the real reason for the whole she-bang, friendship. 

Now, they'll tell you romance is involved. A wedding is where and when one gets married, apparently, and I can't argue with the facts, folks. What they say about the marriage part is true, marriage happens at weddings. Marriage is the what of a wedding, but friendship is the why. 

Other than imagining all the blenders and mugs I'd put on my registry, my favorite way to daydream about "my wedding" is to imagine my friends together. Friends from different areas of my life. Friends who know each other well and friends who've never met. I imagine dancing and laughing and talking and eating with close friends during the whole "bachelorette" part-ay deal.  I imagine being goofy and cheesy and luxurious with them as we get ready. I imagine my friends arriving, meeting each other, sipping whatever drink is reasonably priced and trendy at the time. I imagine seeing my network of love and support mesh together in a lovely clump of awesome people. I see all these friends eating together, learning about each other, a strategic seating arrangement conducted by yours truly. And to top it all off, I see us all there at the reception, some dancing, backed by the soundtrack of a great band. I see which of my friends won't be driving back to their hotel (or house or whatever), and which are still seated at tables, laughing good-naturedly at those friends. 

Anniversaries are celebrations of marriage. On anniversaries, couples do things for each other, they cook each other favorite meals or eat at favorite restaurants, they write each other poems (ideally), they visit landmarks significant to their relationship, probably take part in some activity celebrating their physical attraction ;), but not so in weddings. Weddings are about sharing a milestone that's special to us, with people that are special to us. 

Maybe I enjoy imagining a wedding so much because I'd love to be able to celebrate and honor my friends to such a scale. But that's ridiculous. Why should I feel the need to wait for someone to commit to me as a life-long romantic partner before I can celebrate and honor the people that have been there all along? I may or may not meet someone I want to share the rest of my life with in marriage, but I'll definitely never be alone, and I hope I never forget to celebrate the people I'm sharing my life with already. Do I hope to be there for dear friends in sickness and in health, in want and in plenty? Do I know they always have been and believe they always will be there for me? I do.