Strangers on a Plane

  Let me set the scene: You're standing in line in the terminal. Somehow terminals are always arctic, the crisp gush of central cooling hits you and you fumble with your cross-body bag to un-tie your sweatshirt from your waist (you're stylish, btw). You're near the back of the line, C group, as usual, because you never check-in in advance and don't know how to, and if someone were to have that knowledge, they would hopefully feel free to comment below and share. There's finally some movement, you're making your way through the terminal. You approach the entrance, a flight attendant smiles and welcomes you, you turn the corner and gaze, overwhelmed at the options. You're C group, so you'll be sitting in the middle, between the aisle-seater (A group), and the window-seater (B group). But which aisle-seater and window-seater you sit between is up to you. You know what you're looking for. No laptops, the "business-trippers" don't converse (they're usually scrolling through excel sheets and/or listening to podcasts). Anyone with a kindle is probably just gonna sleep. You know to stay the heck away from any guy reading Men's Health Magazine. You want someone with a cross-word puzzle, someone drinking bottled Minute Maid, someone reading the safety placard! 

Plenty people I've spoken to on the subject say they don't care for mile-high smalltalk. Awkward and stuffy as it can be, I can't get enough. 9/10 times, well maybe 8/10, I de-board planes disappointed. 8ish/10 times I leave having made not one new friend, not having had a stimulating, fascinating discussion with an interesting stranger, not having taken some sage nugget of wisdom from a mysterious and wise row-mate. And you'd think a little row-bonding would be inevitable. We're in the sky. Together. Looking out over whatever state/country we're flying out of/into. Looking at the sparkling sea from miles up, seeing dime-sized houses and crumb-sized trees. Yet oftentimes the extent of passenger interaction is a half-awake offer of hand sanitizer. A few times, though, I've had some pretty cool interactions.

Once I sat next to a woman we'll call Ann. For the better part of the flight, we sat in silence. I was in the middle. Ann was to my left, by the window. Another lady sat to my right, she didn't leave much of an impression. A baby near our row started crying. The lady to my left said something about the baby sounding hungry. Ann bookmarked her John Grisham novel to agree. She was a pre-school teacher, she explained, she worked with babies and young children all day. Thus our conversation commenced. Together we laughed about the difficulties of opening the bag of peanuts "The 'tear-here' tab! Where's the tab!" she'd exclaimed. She shared with me her analysis of her love-life "I'm too child-like" she said "Honestly I act like a toddler, not a girlfriend". She told me about the times she had during her friend's recent bachelorette party (don't worry, it was very tame), about her memories of summers at her grandparents house, how the remote never worked "inevitably!" she'd laughed. I got off that plane with a new connection, a fleeting but valuable friendship.

Another time I sat next to a mom who's daughter and boyfriend were sitting in the row across from us, and about whom the mom told me more than the daughter would surely have liked. She told me about how long they'd been dating, how close the boyfriend was to the family, how she never thought she'd agree to let him come with her daughter on a trip but here they were! She even told me how he asked her daughter to prom "He made a bath-bomb from scratch, with some letter-thing in the middle that she only saw once it dissolved that said 'prom?', isn't that adorable?" Yes, you go dude. 

Yet another time I sat next to this cool young couple. They were chill and cheerful and traveling with infant twins. They let me hold their kids (one at a time), which was a win-win for the parents and me. The husband was across the row so he wasn't always a part of the conversation. The mom told me about how he was pursuing an online degree. She proudly explained to me how hard he was working and how well he was doing. She just smiled and loved on whichever baby she was holding whenever he/she (they were opposite gender twins) got fussy. She asked about me and listened and talked about her twins. We waved when we saw each other leaving the gate. 

"Inevitably!", you'll be disappointed, most of the time. But chances are, your row-mates don't want to read "Southwest the Magazine" for the entire flight either, and you never know who you might get to know. It doesn't have to be a group soul-search session, "what's your biggest regret-go!" doesn't have to be your opener. Just take a break from your ear buds and comment on the book they're reading, or ask for some help with 22 across, "Who directed Citizen Cane?", or notice they're drinking cran-rasperry kiwi Minute Maid and agree with them on how underrated it is, then let the conversation lift off.