Guaranteed Unbelievable

In my last post, I focused on the special occasion that is today, the day before the first day back at school. For the past two years, while this day has held a great deal of uncertainty, I have always had some idea or expectation, an approximate mindscape-synopsis of what the year might look like or entail. Two years into this operation however, and I finally know better. I can finally throw up my hands and declare my predictions futile, because if I've learned anything these past two years of college (other than the necessity of a good microwavable bowl) it's that I will absolutely, 100% guaranteed, be totally shocked.

I will enchant myself with my capacity to admire, love, and communicate with others or to find myself on the opposite shore of frustrating situations. I will horrify myself with my potential to hurt, regret, and reject people, actions, and opportunities. I will, day after day, find myself sitting or standing or walking (seldom running) thinking, "if you told me a year ago today....." and shaking my head in disbelief, whether smiling or in tears.

Today feels like being pulled to the extreme end of a pendulum swing, not with a clean slate but carrying all the lovely and ghastly results and residues of last year, with no idea where I'm about to be launched knowing only that it's just about to be released into motion, or begin to be.

I hope you too, whatever transitional or stagnate situation you read from now, can feel the two-way pull of whatever's next. The limitless potential containing heaven and hell, fueling a desire to always be adjusting, adapting, improving, revising, while encouraging you with the mystery of unbelievable value, hardly digestible for its unexpected goodness. There's no doubt that even when you're absolutely sure nothing is moving, you'll find a shocking change somewhere and at some point.

I'm excited to watch and feel old issues disintegrate and both anxious and curious to see the new ones that burgeon. Knowing I'll be both distraught and delighted beyond what I can fathom, wholly uncertain but full of faith that the delight will, eventually, outweigh the disaster. Here goes, here's to nothing, long story short, cheers and good luck!